Pride and a Controlling Nature
There is a definite connection between pride and a controlling nature. In truth, proud people believe that they are superior to others. Because they believe this, they also believe that they are entitled to be treated in a certain, special way and to treat others in a certain, special way in accordance to their belief. Generally, a proud individual looks down on those whom he/she considers to be inferior. Furthermore, he/she believes that an inferior person deserves to be treated differently (worse) from superior people (like himself and others). Differently, of course, usual means condescendingly, disrespectfully, unfairly, judgmentally, unmercifully, harshly, and even abusively. A proud person also believes that he/she has the right to dictate how an inferior person should act, think, live, etc. and that an inferior person must subordinate himself/herself to the him/her, totally agreeing with him/her, and doing everything that the proud person expects or asks. Proud people regularly show disrespect toward inferior people and are not in the least perturbed by it. Since they believe that inferior people are bad and should be treated poorly, this is not at all surprising. It goes without saying that proud people are not proponents of equal human rights, democracy, or individualism. They are more in favor of some kind of slavery or oppression.
Proud people are also mistrustful of those whom they consider to be beneath them--even if there is no reason or proof to justify their suspicion. In fact, someone thought to be inferior may be quite honest, reliable, and a true friend. However, the natural tendency of a proud person is to trust only those who are on the same level, or higher, than they are. To believe and to trust someone seen as inferior is actually insulting to their pride, which requires them to be always better than their inferior counterpart in every respect. The inferior person can never be right in any way, because that would indicate that they know more, are smarter, etc. than the superior person--unthinkable from his standpoint. Hence, superior people automatically discount the advice of inferior people outright, even if it is valid or good. To do otherwise, would be an insult to their pride, resulting in a loss of self-esteem, because they would have to acknowledge that the inferior person is better than they are in some way.
Additionally, proud individuals are very unforgiving of and punitive toward someone whom they consider to be inferior to them. They can overlook slights and insults or bad behavior from someone on their level or above. But when it comes to others, they show no mercy, sometimes going to great lengths to get back at someone who has supposedly offended their honor (pride)--even though that person has done little or no actual wrong. In the extreme case, this may take the form of brutality or sadism toward the perpetrator.
This leads to the matter of control. From what has been stated above, proud people obviously are also highly controlling, especially toward those whom they consider to be inferior to them. There is a strong positive correlation between the magnitude of pride and the need to control others. Their
pride (self-esteem) requires highly deferential treatment from others. Every sign of disrespect threatens their grandiose perception of themselves. This elicits fury toward the object challenging their superiority and a desire to retaliate in some way. Only by being able to control others, does the superior person feels safe and good about himself/herself. Any other scenario produces insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, etc., as external verification (very important) of their superiority is absent.
Proud people base their self-esteem exclusively on pride, which demands that they be preferentially treated by others, as superiors. It is the image of superiority that is the foundation of their self-esteem. They need to control others in order to be reassured that they are superior (translated: good, O.K.). That is what sustains a positive image of themselves and wards off feelings of inferiority. However, their house is built on sand. Failure, at any time, to get what they need and want from others throws them into a panic and despair.
Proud people have a very difficult time being alone, because they need others to verify and support the lofty image that they have of themselves. So, they are constantly searching for and in relationships with individuals who will do that for them. Usually, they feel uncomfortable with other superior people. After all, another person similar to them may think or prove that he/she is better than they are and treat them as an inferior. So, superior people tend to gravitate toward and form close relationships with those whom they perceive as being inferior, because they feel a lot safer with them. The problem is that the way they end up treating the individual who becomes their friend or mate. Unfortunately, they will relate to such a person as an inferior, treating him/her badly--totally undeserving of such treatment.
This is what happens when a man with a superiority complex marries a woman seen as inferior by him. The relationship turns into a one-sided affair, with the wife doing all of the loving and constantly trying to please her husband, who is never totally satisfied. He may may also be verbally or physically abusive toward his wife for her failure to live up to his never-ending, impossible demands or because he takes out his anger (at others or at himself) on her, because she is an easy target. Of course, the same thing happens to a more humble man, or a man with an inferiority complex, if he has the misfortune of marrying a woman with a superiority complex. So, it works both ways.